I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You made out with two different species that night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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