My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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