Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Pancreas hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.

Fav 8 901 3356
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.

Fav 3 4637 1094
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did she buy you pizza?

Fav 9 2604 985
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.

Fav 0 709 423
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.

Fav 0 48 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT