im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
