Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
