it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
