So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
