i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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