Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
