Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Shame - the story of my life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
