So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
