last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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