did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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