Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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