I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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