Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
