You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize