i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
