ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
