i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
