Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize