I have demons in me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
