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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize