I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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