During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Pants are for mortals
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
