Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She bit a glass in half.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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