We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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