white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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