I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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