he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
