my mouth tastes like poor choices
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
