Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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