So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
