he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
