She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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