so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
