I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
