I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My feet surprised me
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
