i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
