are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
