there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize