whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
