I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
