During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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