new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
