Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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