dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
