My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
