Kiss
Puke
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
