i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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