I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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