AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
