just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
