She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize