her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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