As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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