What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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