playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize