Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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