We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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